My First (Unforgettable) Tantra Workshop: Awakening My Inner Shiva and Shakti

Around 15 years ago, I walked into a room that would change the trajectory of my life. I was attending my very first Tantra workshop. I remember feeling a mix of curiosity and nervousness, not quite knowing what to expect. The theme was Masculine and Feminine Energies - a topic that would later become a cornerstone of my personal journey and my teaching.

*Picture from one of my workshops

The Life I Left Behind (The Context)

To understand why this workshop was so pivotal, I have to paint a picture of where I was before I walked through those doors. On paper, my life looked fine. I had a job, I had friends, I was functioning. But deep down, I was living a "half-life."

I was operating entirely from a rigid, distorted version of masculinity. I thought that to be a successful man, I had to be constantly "on" - always doing, always achieving, never feeling. I treated my body like a machine that just carried my head around. Emotions were a distraction; rest was laziness.

On the other hand, my feminine side - the part of me that could feel, flow, and intuit - was completely starving. I didn't know the words "Shiva" and "Shakti" back then, but I knew something was missing. I was hungry for something real, even if I didn't have the language to ask for it.

The Biology of Energy

Tantra teaches us a fundamental truth: both masculine and feminine energies live within every one of us, regardless of the physical body we were born into. If you look at nature, this duality makes perfect sense. We are all created through the union of a sperm cell, carrying the essence of masculine energy, and an egg, holding the essence of feminine energy. From the very moment of our conception, both energies are inherently woven into our DNA.

*Image by freepik.com

What fascinated me deeply was learning how these cells behave in ways that symbolically reflect these energetic archetypes.

The sperm cell acts in a "masculine" way - and it is important to clarify that here, we’re speaking about energy, not gender. The sperm is shaped like a spear, shooting itself forward with single-pointed focus and determination. It is fast, goal-oriented, and competitive, racing alongside millions of others toward a single destination. It almost feels like a high-stakes reality show - who will reach the target first? Who will win the prize?

The egg, on the other hand, embodies "feminine" qualities. She is round, grounded, and still. She doesn’t rush anywhere; she has nowhere to get to because she is already there. She rests in her place, receptive and present, as if calmly observing life unfold. When the competitors arrive, they attach to her surface, but entry is not immediate. Recent research actually shows that the egg plays an active role in choosing which cell will enter and create life with her. Isn’t that incredible?

It truly feels like a reality show with a twist: first, you race with everything you’ve got, but once you arrive, you still need to pass a mysterious test of resonance and chemistry.

Meeting Shiva and Shakti: A Deeper Look

In the Tantric tradition, the masculine and feminine energies are represented by the archetypes of the gods Shiva and Shakti. Before we get back to the story of my first workshop, it is crucial to understand what these look like, and what is the difference between the healthy and unhealthy versions of these energies.

*Picture by vininikivin on Wallpapers.com

The Masculine (Shiva)

Some of the healthy expressions of masculinity that are associated with Shiva include: Presence, stillness, focus, clarity, courage, protection, stability, equanimity. Think of a mountain that provides shelter from the storm. It holds space. It is the consciousness that witnesses life. It is being said about Shiva: "Never born, Never died". He is beyond life.

Unlike Shiva, the unhealthy expressions of masculinity include: Aggression, domination, rigidity, emotional unavailability. When the masculine has no heart, it becomes a tyrant.

The Feminine (Shakti)

Some of the healthy expressions of femininity that are associated with Shakti include: Flow, dance, radiance, empathy, adaptability, wildness, and feelings. Think of the ocean - powerful, life-giving, and ever-changing. It is the life force itself.

Unlike Shakti, the unhealthy expressions of femininity include Chaos, manipulation, codependency, emotional overwhelming. When the feminine has no banks to flow between, it becomes a flood.

*Image by freepik.com

The Tantric path invites us to connect with our inner Shiva and inner Shakti in their healthy forms, to cultivate and nourish both within ourselves. The goal is integration: to stop rejecting parts of ourselves so we can live as whole, balanced human beings.

The Dance of the Brothers

So, coming back to that first workshop. After a short meditation to settle the room, all of us - men and women alike - were invited to connect with our healthy masculine energy.

Through physical practices and guided visualizations, we embodied this aspect together. At some point, the entire room began dancing as one masculine group. It felt like a circle of warriors or a tribe of brothers - grounded, powerful, and protective.

Something surprising happened inside me. My view of the women in the room shifted entirely. The usual undercurrent of sexual attraction or the "hunting" instinct simply vanished. I no longer viewed them as potential lovers or objects of desire. Instead, I viewed them as my brothers. We were all part of the same masculine force.

It was fascinating to see the women embody this energy. They stood taller, their gaze became direct and piercing. They weren't flirting or trying to please; they were strong. The tension that usually exists between the sexes dissolved into a shared solidarity.

*Picture from one of my workshops

The Alchemy of Safety

This moment taught me something profound about relationships that I still teach today. Why did the energy feel so clean? Why was there no awkwardness?

It was because of Safety.

Usually, in the "real world," men and women are playing a complex game of expectations. Men are often unconsciously hunting (looking for validation or sex), and women are unconsciously protecting themselves. This creates a subtle, constant tension.

But in that circle, because we were all owning our own power, nobody needed anything from anyone else. When a man connects to his true Shiva nature - his true power - he doesn't need to take energy from a woman. He becomes a pillar. And when a woman feels that a man is a pillar rather than a predator, she feels safe.

This safety is the soil in which the feminine flower can bloom. And bloom it did.

When Shakti Entered the Room

We paused. We entered a deep silence, relaxing our muscles and allowing that piercing energy to settle and soften, making space for something else to emerge.

Through gentle breathwork and soft, circular movements, we began embodying the feminine energy. The atmosphere shifted completely. The room transformed into a circle of sisters, dancing together in fluid, expressive waves.

I remember watching women in female bodies move with such freedom and grace - but for the first time in my life, I allowed myself to join them. I allowed myself to dance in a feminine way. We continued dancing, smiling at each other, enjoying the softness of the air.

Again, the point of view shifted. The men and women looked at each other with soft eyes. The predator/prey dynamic was gone. We, as men, were mesmerized and inspired by the women who embodied the Shakti energy so naturally. They gave us permission to access that softness within ourselves.

The Breakthrough

Thanks to this safe container, my inner Shakti was finally given permission to be seen and felt.

I grew up in a very conservative environment where the rule was absolute: "A man should be a man." Being stoic and rigid was praised; being soft was weak. Moving my hips or dancing in a fluid way felt forbidden. My inner judge had always whispered a warning: "If you move like a woman, that means you are gay." That voice had lived inside me for years, creating a rigid armor around my heart and body.

But in that workshop, the armor cracked.

And here is the most beautiful part: There was no struggle.

I expected it to be hard. I expected to feel resistance or shame. But because the container was so strong, and because I had seen the women step so bravely into their masculine side just moments before, it felt like the most natural thing in the world. It felt like exhaling after holding my breath for 30 years.

I realized that feminine energy has nothing to do with sexual orientation - it is the energy of life, flow, and joy. I felt my inner feminine part so joyful, so alive, simply because she was finally allowed to exist openly instead of hiding in the shadows.

A Life in Color

That first Tantra workshop - and the path of Tantra itself - changed my life. It wasn't just a nice afternoon; it was an awakening. Suddenly, life had more colors. I wasn't just living in black and white anymore. There was more depth to my emotions, more truth in my interactions.

Naturally, it also transformed my love life. When you can access both your Shiva (presence) and your Shakti (flow), your relationships become richer, more authentic, and far more fulfilling.

3 Ways to Balance Your Energies Today

You don't need to wait for a workshop to start integrating these parts of yourself. Here are three simple practices you can try this week to bring more Shiva-Shakti balance into your life:

1. For the Masculine: The "Stillness" Meditation Practice The masculine energy is the consciousness that witnesses without reacting.

• The Practice: Set a timer for 5 minutes. Sit in a chair with your spine straight. Do not move. Do not scratch an itch. Do not shift your weight. Just be. Focus entirely on your breath.

• The Goal: To cultivate the ability to hold space for yourself, building that internal "mountain" of stability.

2. For the Feminine: The "Unstructured" Practice The feminine energy is movement, flow, and emotion.

• The Practice: Put on a song that you love - something with a rhythm that moves you. Close your eyes and let your body move however it wants to move, not how it should move. Forget about "dancing" or looking cool. If your body wants to shake, shake. If it wants to sway, sway. Just let the music move your body.

• The Goal: To surrender control and let the life force move through you.

3. The Daily Check-In During your day, ask yourself: "Which energy is driving the bus right now?" When you are negotiating a contract or planning a project, you might need your Shiva (focus/direction). When you are playing with your kids, listening to a partner, or creating art, you might need your Shakti (flow/empathy). The magic happens when you can switch between them by choice, rather than by habit.

Conclusion

I will never forget that first Tantra workshop. It helped me connect with my inner Shiva and inner Shakti in profoundly beautiful ways. Parts of me that had been hidden deep inside for a lifetime were finally recognized and allowed to step into the light for the very first time. It was a true breakthrough - one that changed the course of my life. I feel deeply grateful for having had the opportunity to experience this.

My wish is that everyone may connect with their healthy masculine and healthy feminine energies, cultivate them with care, and celebrate their unique expression.

Thank you for reading all the way through. Patience is a key element on the Tantric path, and I truly appreciate you bringing that quality here.

I hope you enjoyed this story and its insights, and I hope to see you again - here on our blog or in one of our online journeys.

With love,

Ananda Lev Tantra Teacher | YouTantra

PS. If you’re curious to learn more about the Shiva-Shakti balance, and Tantra in general, we invite you to explore our Online Courses. There is plenty of guidance there for both beginners and intermediate practitioners. Whether you explore it solo or with a partner, perhaps this is your time to dive into Tantra and reclaim your full spectrum of energy.

You can check our courses here